Summary: This is an article on the hot topic of swine flu. It shows how many people are infected worldwide and what the epidemic could cause within the UK if it were to become a global pandemic. It shows us that travel companies have cancelled their flights to Mexico and advises people who have booked a flight there to contact their insurance in order to get their money back. The Ministry of Health says to have been prepared for situations like this for many years now and that Britain is one of the most well prepared countries in the world. In the governments worst case scenario it shows that if half the population were to attract pandemic flu there could be around 709.000 deaths occurring to it in the UK. More then 1,300 people contacted the NHS direct yesterday with swine flu-related complaints. 238 of whom were referred to their GP for treatment. The number of people taking the services on-line cold and flu self-assessment test has nearly tripled over the last few days.
Opinion: To be honest I am always quite concerned when a new potentially deadly flu breaks out in the world. The thing that scares me about it is the fact that these out breaking flu's are always new to us and therefore cures need yet to be found. Of course there are many diseases us humans can not cure yet, however these usually are not viruses that spread like flu and we can protect ourselves against them. In flu cases the entire world is basically under threat and if we do not arm ourselves against these cases by keeping victims in containment and so on it could mean a serious threat to many people or even worse mankind. I am not saying this would necessarily be a bad thing in the long run; for I am sure planet earth could use a break from us, but on the other hand I do not wish for an early death because of such an inconvenient thing happening to the world. Too much life is left to live for me.
the governments worst case scenario... / taking the services on-line cold and flu...> possessive
BeantwoordenVerwijderenThis is an article on ... It shows ... It shows us... etc > try to alter your style so that you simply provide a summary of the article without refering back to the article itself all the time. This will make your writing sound more sophisticated.
attract pandemic flu > contract pandemic flu
709.000 > in the UK a . indicates a change to decimals. We used to use a , or simply leave a space i.e. 709 000 or 709,000 - at the moment you have written seven hundred and nine point zero.
1,300 > you got it right here!
out breaking flu's > flu out breaks
us humans > we humans (us is too colloquial)
keeping victims in containment > keeping victims secluded/in quarantine
There are a few mistakes in this summary and reaction, but overall you are very clear and express yourself very well, especially in your reaction. Well done.